ASPEN Spring Conference 2015: Neurologically Mixed Relationships

(NTs have always reminded me of dogs…)

I have an announcement!

I am going to be giving a presentation on autism and romantic relationships at the Autism Spectrum Education Network’s spring conference this March.

Date: Sunday, March 29, 2015

Time: 8:00 AM – 4:15 PM

Location: Hotel Woodbridge at Metropark, 120 Wood Ave. South, Iselin, NJ (08830)

The title of my talk is:

Neurologically Mixed Relationships: How to Make Them Work

My presentation will focus on AS/AS relationships (where both parties are on the autism spectrum) and AS/NT relationships (where only one party is autistic).

We’ve all heard that communication and emotional support are the foundations of a healthy relationship, but what about those of us “not wired to connect,” and not programmed to support? If autism can make superficial small talk awkward, then delving into those deep, heartfelt needs and feelings can often feel downright impossible!

Whether you’re a neurotypical struggling to connect with your autistic partner, an aspie confused by your NT partner’s nonsensical behavior, or two aspies trying to figure out how to talk about feelings in the first place, neurologically diverse relationships can feel like an uphill battle.

(Not to mention the sisyphean struggle of the single autistic!)

We autistics don’t naturally understand many of the things neurotypicals take for granted, and neurotypicals just can’t seem to figure out those things we see as logical and obvious. Sometimes it feels like autistics and NTs might as well be speaking different languages. But armed with the right tools, anyone can learn to speak another language.

My presentation will explore the ways in which autism and allism affect relationship dynamics for AS/NT and AS/AS pairings, highlighting the good that we can often miss, and teaching how to work through the bad that can feel so overwhelming.

If you’d be interesting in coming to my presentation, you can click here to read more about the conference and register to attend.

Hope to see you there! 🙂


  1. Hi! Is there any way you could provide a transcript of this talk or video tape it for those who won’t be able to make it? I would love to pass this info along to my sister.


  2. I sure wish there were some books on this topic! My hubby (an Aspie) and I have worked through challenges and are still together 21 years in and we are good. However, it is something I come across in my work as a therapist for which I have not yet found many resources to recommend.


  3. I would love to email you about this topic. I’m giving a talk on this as well with a panel of Nuerodiverse individuals at Penguicon in April. I am nt and my husband is autistic we have been together 16 years and worked through so much and it is so worth it. I love idea sharing and welcome the opportunity to talk to you further.


  4. Any sterling insights on AS/ADHD relationships? Our joint executive function issues are killer in combination, and his vulnerability to criticism and emotional flooding plus my difficulty to parse spoken stuff and high anxiety very are often a conflagration waiting to happen. We soldier on, but it’s a whole lot of struggle.


    • Ooh this is a great question! I think I’ll write a full article about this. I have plenty of personal experience to draw from too. My biggest nutshell piece of advice would be to work on developing coping skills together. There’s so much overlap between ADHD and autism, and the downside of that can turn into a really amazing bonding experience. You’ll bring out the worst in each other in many ways (just like AS/AS relationships) but you also have a really great team member who can understand you in a way most people can’t.


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